I was at Webster Hall, like many times before. In those days, I never wore a shirt in the club. I worked really hard on my body, and I wanted to show it off. I always wore muscle shirts, or shirts that fit tight and highlighted my body. By this point in the night, I was already shirtless.
I was on the second floor, heading towards the stairs. These two amazing looking Spanish girls intercepted me. I was very drunk, by the way, they could tell. One of them began to kiss my neck. The other came and started licking my mouth, and began to make out with me. Some of my friends saw this. They were watching in awe as me, and these two girls went at it. Damn, they looked really good.
In any case, drunk or sober, I always keep my wits about me. These girls said, “Let’s go. We have a room.” At that point, I thought of my family, and my life flashed before my eyes. Something felt shady. I felt like I was being set up for either a robbery, or a kidney theft or something. Call me crazy, but I believe in the term “too good to be true.” So I told the girls that I’d have to pass on their amazing invitation. They seemed offended, so I volunteered that I was gay. I told them I was there with friends, and I motioned towards my buddies who were intently watching us. The two girls looked at me, one of them said something along the lines of “Really? You didn’t seem gay just now. However, I guess it figures. The hot ones are always gay. Why were you making out with us though?” I shrugged and told them I liked to experiment. They walked away from me after that.
My friends were unhappy with me, they said something along the lines of “You are a freaking idiot, how often do you think that happens, dude? Did you not see how hot they were?” Dude, of course I saw; you think that I don’t appreciate the awesomeness of this moment? However, my response at the end of it all was that I liked having my kidneys, and that I didn’t want to get AIDS either. That seemed to shut them down.
If it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. Just saying. I will admit; I do wonder about how awesome that could have been. Oh well.