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I know you tried your best to be a good father. My sister and I were the lucky ones I guess. I know you had other children whom you did not share your life with. I’m not going to judge you for that, I know you had your reasons.
You were a flawed man, as most of us are. You struggled in life like many from your generation who were dealt the same cards as you. But I want you to know that I appreciate you trying, and being a part of our lives.
You know I’m a father too, and I’m trying my best to be a good one. I know I spoil my son, but I too have my reasons for what I do. Like you I carry my own demons, and I have my own ways of trying to make amends for my past sins. I think I’m doing a good job, he’s growing up to be a great young man.
We didn’t speak much while you were here, and I deeply regret that. You know that was your fault as much as mine, dad. I tried, I tried to keep the connection. But it’s too late now dad, so I speak to you here as I shed tears on this father’s day.
I tried not to think of it, “it is just another day” you’d always say. But try to avoid it as I may, I keep seeing the posts being put out to the fathers on Facebook and twitter. I can’t hide from the fact that you are not here, and I miss you old man. We didn’t have much we shared, but I sure wish I could have even that little time back.
I miss you pops. You are gone, but I am left behind here. I’m trying to live everyday the best I can, to be a good man, a good father, a good husband, a good son. I’m trying to be the best person that I can be. Everyday single day I try to be a better person. I’m sure you’d be proud of your son.
I miss you dad, and I wish you a happy father’s day in heaven.
The following video is a few weeks old, but I suppose it is relevant.
Growing Up Bronx