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Tonight North Carolina voted in favor of a state constitutional amendment defining marriage between a man and a woman as the only legal union recognized by the state. 60% voted for the amendment.
Let me tell you something right of the bat, the USA is a big place. As New Yorkers we tend to think that the rest of the country thinks the same way we do in NYC. It’s commonplace and totally okay to be gay! Isn’t it? Maybe here, but the rest of the country doesn’t think that way. This situation in NC just goes to show this.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say that we are probably one of the few places in America that is “this” way. We are the different one. Many things that we accept here in NYC would not be accepted in many other parts of the country. It is not my intention to offend with the following list, but let us examine this:
– Gays (Male or female, hated and looked at as unChristian.)
– Metrosexuals (Do they even exist anymore? They look to close to being gay.)
– Hipsters (Just by default, doesn’t everyone but hipsters hate hipsters?)
– Blacks (Racism isn’t dead my friends.)
– Hispanics (See description for blacks.)
And we could go on and on. Have I shocked you? Probably not, you have common sense and you know how things really are.
During my tour with the Air Force I spent some time on the border of Texas and Oklahoma, a little place called Wichita Falls. Let me tell you, I went off base once, and never again. Let’s just say that the good old boys, Jethro and company did not give me the warm fuzzy feelings inside. (See Deliverance.)
I had an interesting conversation with someone on this topic today. My view being that I had no problem with gay people getting married, or gay people as a whole. The fact that they are gay doesn’t bother me at all.
The argument from the other side was as follows “I don’t care about it either, but I don’t want it pushed in schools as normal to my son. I don’t want to take my son to a school event and have him see 2 men holding hands. I find it immoral that 2 men would want to raise a baby boy or girl. Do you have any idea how confused that kid would be when they realize they don’t have a mom, but have 2 dads? That’s just crazy. As a company owner I don’t want to have to pay benefits for a man and have to support the MAN that they choose to marry. As a Christian, I don’t want the Government to FORCE my churches to marry 2 men or 2 women, something that according to my Christian religion is highly immoral and wrong. I don’t care if you want to be gay, just don’t force it on me or my way of life. I don’t want to be a part of it, and I don’t want it to be a part of our day to day.”
This came from a colleague of mine, an intelligent reasonable man. There was no arguing, no cursing, just intelligent dialogue. I have to say, that though I don’t agree with everything he says, he does make some valid points. Unfortunately I don’t recall the entire contents of the conversation, but I’m curious, how would a supporter of gay marriage respond to someone making those statements?
At one point while we were going back and forth on the topic he asked me if I would want my own son to be gay. My response was “I’d love him regardless of his personal choices, but to be completely honest, I’d rather he not be. It’s a life complication he could do without.”
His response to me on that was “Angel, you’d love him if he was an alcoholic, you’d love him if he was a heroine addict, but even though you love him, you know those things are wrong. Even now, though you won’t admit it because you are trying to support everyone’s right to choose, and most people will not admit it as well, but deep down inside you answered the way you did because you feel something is wrong with that way of life. Statistics show that being a homosexual takes 20 years off of your life span, it’s a dangerous lifestyle. I know you are not very religious and you try to let people live, but deep down, we all know its wrong. God made man and woman so that they may reproduce and create life. Man on man or woman on woman is disgusting and it’s not natural.”
I read an article today, old article about the Catholic church, and the fact that they closed down an adoption program that they had because the government was trying to force them to allow gay couples to adopt children from them.
Personally that’s where things get a little complicated for me. I don’t believe the government should be allowed to force the church to break their thousand year old religious rules because of their political agendas. I am not a hugely religious person, and the church has it’s own problems (pedophiles come to mind), but I do believe that they do have the right to choose whom they allow to adopt their children. If you are a gay couple, and you disagree with the church’s decision, then go to a gay friendly agency. Remember, not everyone thinks the way you do. Not everyone is ok with homosexuality. The government sticking their noses in that is overstepping in my opinion.
On the other hand, I do understand some valid points made in regards to what this ban does for gay couples overall. The limitations and restrictions it places upon them in so far as medical insurance, support, even who can see you on a death bed. I understand this. I feel for the gay couples in NC that are adversely affected by this amendment. My advice to you is to move to a place that is more flexible and will support your lifestyle.
For instance, if you have a problem with guns, don’t live in Florida, come to live NYC or NJ. Legally they don’t support having guns here, that doesn’t mean you won’t run into any guns, the bad guys still have them. They just won’t be legal guns.
Best of luck to all of you. If it’s any consolation, most of the people on my twitter and facebook wall support you and express their deep disappointment in North Carolina’s decision to ban gay marriage.
Growing Up Bronx