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Are you crying?


Are you crying?

Yesterday as I sat eating my mom’s delicious home cooking with my little sister, I became overwhelmed with emotion. Tears started to stream down my face, and my little sister asked, “Are you crying?”

In the background, my mom and two of her friends were blasting Ana Gabriel songs. There were some songs that I haven’t heard in ages which immediately took me back to my childhood. My mom and her friends were joking around, laughing and singing in their heavy viejita Spanish accents.

I realized how much I missed being around this madness and I began to cry. I told my baby sister, they may drive you crazy now, and we all want to sprout our wings and fly, but I promise you, one day you will miss all of this madness.

As she saw the tears in my eyes, we both started laughing. There is nothing like home my friends. As you enter adulthood, you will build your own families, move away, and get busy with your own lives. But nothing will ever taste as good as your mother’s home cooking, nothing will ever feel as welcoming as your mom’s home, nothing can or will ever replace that. I promise you this.

I’m grateful that I have my mom still here with us. Next weekend it’s her birthday, yay! We’ve had a few scares over the years, but she’s still right here with us. I am grateful and treasure moments like yesterday.

I’m an emotional being, but I’m also very walled off. I am emotionally starved and I often don’t “feel” anything. I just live life and go through the motions. It’s surprising but also welcomed when a flood of emotions drives me to tears while eating arroz con pollo y habichuelas at the dinner table.

I’ve cried at yoga, and even shed a few tears earlier yesterday due to this soft meditation song my wife was playing which moved me. I don’t know, maybe there is something happening in the universe that makes me particularly emotional at this time?

Anyway, that’s why I was crying.



Growing Up Bronx

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Please note the date on a post as it may be an old viewpoint. I keep old posts to show my evolution. The opinions and views expressed here are solely those of the author.

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