This topic has been written about many times before. It’s been discussed by me on Facebook, twitter, G+ and it has been beaten to death in the blogosphere! Its a sticky, sensitive topic, and it has gotten me in trouble in the past, yet it must be revisited.
The last couple of days, particularly with this hot NYC weather, the way women dress has been a hot topic of discussion.
I wrote a post on Facebook criticizing a young, underage girl for dressing up extremely provocative. Her breast were hanging out, her stomach was showing, her lower back was also exposed, and she had on shorts so small they may as well have been underwear. My post asked “where are your parents”.
We went on to discuss this, my point being and remaining that even though she has every right to dress as she likes, and she should be able to do so without any fear or reservation, common sense dictates you should not flirt with danger.
I say this for safety reasons more than anything. I’m not trying to control women, or tell you what you can and can’t wear. I’m just stating that men (and in some cases women) are sick! After a long winter of coats and long clothing, seeing someone dressed like this young girl is like a 15 year old virgin seeing flesh for the very first time. Dudes go crazy and don’t know how to act!
This was evident by the way this old man was devouring this little girl with his eyes. I thought this could be my little sister, and though I felt annoyed and wanted to do something, I felt it wasn’t my place. Even legally if this escalated, I had little to go on. So I didn’t do anything, I said to myself so long as he doesn’t actually do anything to her aside from looking, I would not interfere. Those of you that know me are aware that I have stepped up to bat for innocent ladies being harassed, so while I was there, she was safe. But he didn’t do anything physically, so I just observed.
Now last time I wrote about this I was bashed by militant feminists, attacking me and criticizing me for saying similar words to these. Let me repeat this for you militant types that may be reading this post: WEAR WHATEVER YOU WANT! WHENEVER YOU WANT! I DON’T CARE. But be real about how you will be looked at in the street and set your expectations. It’s not right, but those men are going to salivate over you. Period.
My friend made a great point on Facebook, she asked me why did I attack the girl and her clothing and not his behavior. This was a great point and pointed out an obvious flaw in my reasoning. From my perspective I wrote the guy off as trash, I focused on the girl and what she could do to protect herself from people like this. But my friend’s point was not lost on me. She stated that instead of judging the little girl, I should have focused on the man and his behavior. I agree with this too, I could look at it from that point of view, but my realist beliefs make it hard for me to think I can change this dirty old man. I’d rather prevent the dangerous situation to begin with.
NYC is a big city, and as another friend stated, men would stare at you even if you were in a burka, and though I do agree with her, I feel that the more you expose, the more exposed to danger you are. Be careful out there my queens.