Can you just have sex?

So can you just have sex? I once dated a woman who belittled me so much that I couldn’t even get hard with her anymore. What does belittling entail you may wonder? Well, there was one time that I came before she did, (that rarely happened, I could hold out for a good deal of time) and she lost her shit on me. She called me selfish, cursed at me, then stormed off before I could muster up a round two. Another thing that she did was to tell me that her ex boyfriend had a bigger penis than I did, but that I was a better lover. What the fuck man?

As a way to try and manipulate me into fucking more, she threatened to cheat on me. I didn’t care about that back then because I was already emotionally checked out for awhile. I mean, if I’m not able to get hard, or even seek you out, then it should be a major red flag. Anyway, all that was missing was my physically leaving our apartment. Her cheating would have just expedited the inevitable end result anyway, our break up.

For a while I started thinking my man tool was broken. But that’s wasn’t the case, I wasn’t emotionally available to her anymore, as such, every pore of my being rejected her.

She was beautiful and physically really hot. But I learned back then that for me, fucking requires a bit more. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had casual encounters over my life, but it’s never as good as when you are “in love” or in a committed relationship. At a minimum we gotta have some sort of emotional connection. It should be noted that I have had powerful, casual connections as well.

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t emotional that way, if I could just fuck randomly, I would have had way more fun in my youth, but it is what it is. This occurred to me today as I thought about some past experiences that I felt could have gone so much better. Meh, fuck it. The time “came” and went literally, what happened already happened and there ain’t shit I can do to change it. So here we are folks!



Growing Up Bronx

Join the Podcast ONLY mailing list:

Please take note of the date on a post as it may be an old, outdated viewpoint. I keep those old posts to show my evolution and progress as a human being. We all make mistakes and say dumb stuff. Hiding it doesn't help anyone and real growth matters. Own your flaws so that others may learn from them. Finally, the opinions and views expressed here are solely those of the respective authors.
Angel Rodriguez

Angel Rodriguez

Angel covers fitness, social issues, reviews, news & more! He's a veteran, tech and fitness pro which has been featured on Huffpo, NatGeo, NPR, NY1, HLN, Men's Fitness, MTV, & other major platforms. Angel is also Brazilian Jiujitsu White belt.
Angel Rodriguez

Latest posts by Angel Rodriguez (see all)