I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who isn’t very experienced in the sex world. Believe it or not, we don’t often talk about it, but some men are not that experienced in sex. You are aware that you aren’t just born knowing how to make love, right?
Sure, men talk crap about how great they are, but that’s often untrue. Mind you, the same applies to females as well! Y’all ain’t off the hook! Also, you’d be surprised to find out how many virgins there are out there! Oh yeah, they exist! There are also some folks who’ve only had one lover, etc. All types of inexperienced folks out there.
In any case, I covered the topic recently on my beliefs when it comes to the female orgasm, that’s a post you should read as a companion to this post. I’m not an expert in making love, I’m sure there are many men out there who make me look like an amateur. However, there are some fundamental truths that I think apply across the board, and I’ve been with a substantial amount of partners.
So let’s talk about some of those fundamental truths.
First and foremost, I think it is very important for both partners to be comfortable with one another. There have been relationships where the sex was a bit awkward at first, and got better with time. As we learned each other’s bodies, our pleasures, what we like, etc. The sex only gets better. Of course there are some scenarios where you click sexually and have a great love making episode right from the gate, but that’s not always the case.
Being aware of that, you should not take it too hard if you have an awkward experience. This was a mistake I made when I had sex for the very first time. I was so inexperienced, and I felt so embarrassed about coming really fast, then not being able to get hard again. It wasn’t a physical thing, but a mental thing. I was nervous, anxious, and worrying too much. This killed it for me, and for her obviously. So after that first time, I just started avoiding her, and eventually we parted ways. This was a mistake back then, due to my not wanting to confront reality. Live and learn.
Now that I’m older, I understand that sometimes these things will happen. More so as I become an older man. It’s natural that as my testosterone declines, I won’t get hard as fast, as hard, or as long as I did when I was a kid. Now I have to regulate myself mentally more because if I don’t, then the soldier will act up on me. So like I said, you have to be comfortable with each other, and if you are stressing about any little thing, things could go weird.
Take your time, enjoy the woman and her body. As you make love to her, let her know how good she feels, tell her how she turns you on, tell her how much you want her. This will stimulate her, and her responses to your words will in turn stimulate you. You will enjoy and give yourself to the other. If you can do that without too many reservations, you’ll enjoy sex so much more.
Kiss her, taste her, let her see you take pleasure in her. Breathe in her scent, touch her all over, look into her eyes, become one with her. Learn the language of her body, that’s super important. You have to speak her language.
If you are like me, and you are not packing a 10 inch man tool, you can still give her plenty of pleasure. You just have to find her language. Find the positions that stimulate her, feel tighter, and allow you go to deeper inside of her. Every experience is different, making love is not an exact science. There are things I’ve done that drove one woman crazy, which another women didn’t enjoy or like. Learn your partners language of making love.
Like I said before, I’m no expert, but for the most part, I believe that I’ve been a good lover to my partners. You can be too with time, practice, and of course, being and making her comfortable.
Growing Up Bronx
Please note the date on a post as it may be an old viewpoint. I keep old posts to show my evolution. The opinions and views expressed here are solely those of the author.