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This is a message to possessive partners! Hello boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, booty call, and all others:
I see that you are concerned with your partner spending time with their friends. Be they male, female, and all others. Why is that? What exactly is it that you are afraid of? It is obvious that you are insecure, this is clear to me based on your pathetic behavior, but let’s explore this even further.
Let’s say for argument’s sake that you are a heterosexual male, and your lady has a male friend who also happens to be heterosexual. Next, let’s say that they had been friends for about 10 years or so before you came into the picture. Okay? We have established a baseline scenario, one that actually occurs quite often.
What exactly is it that you think you can prevent from happening? Unless you have some super mutant powers, and can travel back in time, you’ll either never know what has really happened between them, and frankly, you are powerless to prevent it.
All this is to say that your greatest fear, that this man would get all up inside your now woman, has either already happened, or it is not going to happen at all. Think about it, pal. They had 10 years to do anything that they wanted before you even came into the picture. Do you get that? Either they already did it, and it didn’t work out, or both or one of them did not want to go that path. But guess what? There isn’t a damn thing you can do about it either way! So why are you tormenting yourself, and making yourself look like a loser? Why not simply accept that she has chosen to be with you now, and stop acting like a childish imp?
Next, let’s look at the scenario of a man who wants to cheat. You try and control him, you attempt to watch his every move, and you think that the only way you can prevent the act of cheating is through constant vigilance and awareness.
Why ever would you want to be in a relationship where the only way that you can prevent your partner from cheating is through a constant state of vigilance? Who wants to live that way? Why would you want to be with someone who wants to be unfaithful, but isn’t only because you are always on top of them?
The other point to this, is that no matter what, if a person has the heart to cheat on you, then they will cheat on you. One way or another, they will find the way to do it. But all that aside, why would you want to be with them anyway? That’s pretty pathetic if you ask me.
But, I’ll tell you why that is, ego, pride, and insecurity. It’s sad to me when I see a man or a woman trying to constantly monitor and track their partner. Don’t they realize how much energy they are wasting? Don’t they realize that it is an exercise in futility?
I’ve had men ask me how I dare to allow my wife to hang out with male friends? Do you think that I am a fool? I am no fool, and neither is my wife.
Recently, some new guy approached her at her private business. Out of courtesy and to create a new business contact she provided her business card, then this guy started to text her about stuff unrelated to business. She told me about it, and told me that she blocked him. This guy was trying to work himself into the picture, his intentions were clear, he was trying to put moves on my lady. In that scenario, under no circumstances would I support their hanging out. Not that she’d want to anyway, obviously she blocked him. But if she were too naive to see what I clearly see, then I’d speak my mind.
I’m trusting of her, but I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to put her on a platter for some jerk to try his luck. Would I force her to cut communications with him? No, I’d leave that in her capable hands, but I would clearly express my concerns, and then it’s on her. Like I said before, if she, or any woman wants to be with another man, they can find a way. So let them do whatever the hell they want to. I’d never try and force someone to stay with me.
In regard to those which have been around for sometime, I’ll direct you to the earlier portion of this article. If it was going to happen, it already did. The only likely scenario that something could happen now, is because you as a man are not handling your business, and they become the comforter so to speak. But again, that’s on you my friend.
In closing, if your partner wants to cheat, or be with someone else, you truly are powerless to stop it. So why stress yourself out trying to stop something which you have no control over? Their fidelity will last only as long as they want to be faithful. Get that into your head, and you’ll live a happier life.
Growing Up Bronx