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Whenever I heard the term “ladies man,” I thought of what we colloquially refer to as a “player.” You know, one of those pretty dudes who “gets all the ladies.”
A few days ago, a lady friend of mine who is living the single life referred to me as a ladies man. I took pause and said: “No I’m not!”
Then she explained…
“Angel, I’ve observed you interact with the ladies, even how you behave with me. On several dark, cold, late nights, you did not let me walk to my car alone. Even though I do it all the time, if you are around, you’ll always offer to walk and protect me.
When you sit at a table, you wait until the lady sits down before you do. You go out of your way to make sure that you are walking on the outside of the sidewalk, you hold doors, you genuinely listen! Those actions make a lady feel like a lady, and that’s why I called you a ‘ladies man.’ Not because you are a player, but because you know how to make a lady feel like a lady.”
I had never thought of the term in that way, but when it’s put that way, it makes perfect sense. I suppose that by this new definition, I am a ladies man.
I’d also venture a guess that a “ladies man” is a rare commodity these days. Allow me to explain why. Some days ago, I had the pleasure of spending time with an old friend who also happens to be single. As we walked from one location to the other, she walked and ended up positioned on the outside, and I rather awkwardly but quickly moved myself to the outside, I couldn’t have her exposed like that. Though she was in the middle of a sentence, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.
When she realized that I was no longer on her left, she looked right, and her reaction was that of shock and surprise. She actually pointed it out to me, “Wow, you actually went to the outside.” I looked at this stunningly beautiful woman, someone who I knew as a child, and I felt frustrated with humanity. I thought to myself, who would dare treat her any other way? What has this woman experienced in life that makes this simple gesture so shocking to her?
It drives me crazy when someone so precious is treated wrong. And it happens a lot, you have no idea the stories I’ve heard from my female friends. Damn guys, y’all need to learn how to treat a woman, and that’s why I’m writing this! Jerks!
I guess by my friend’s definition, being a “ladies man” is not a bad thing. Whether you are my wife, girlfriend, sister, or even a stranger I might encounter, I’ll always treat a lady like a lady. Though admittedly, some individuals will get that special touch based on your importance to me. LOL. That’s the way I am built! How are you built?
Growing Up Bronx