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- Growing Up Bronx
I’m an emotional person. This is a fact. I may appear to have a rough, hard exterior, but this only shields a soft core.
Today as I lay contorting my body on the floor, after a long, strenuous week of training, the classical music felt more penetrating to me. The song touched me as I felt the stress and ache momentarily melting away. There were others in the room, but they were oblivious to the moment I was having. This moment was known only to me.
Our instructor provided the direction, his voice ever so gentle and soothing, providing rhythmic instructions. There goes that classical music again. My body aches, it hurts, but it feels good. I’m moved, I feel emotions flowing through my body, there are no thoughts, just a feeling. I cannot describe it to you, because I cannot describe it to myself. It was just a feeling, a deep, powerful feeling. It wanted to get out, and it flowed gently through my body as I stretched.
I lay my head on the paper towel, and rubber mat. I’m breathing heavy, my body is warm, and I’m beaded with sweat. This isn’t like kickboxing, or like insanity. I’m not grunting and powering through hard movements, I’m trying to breathe gently, while moving slowly and controlling all of the motions.
I’m recovering my breath, I’m strong. My body aches, I’m tired. I’m strong but I’m tired. I’ve logged more training hours this week than most people do in a month, and I’ve still got 3 more classes tomorrow. I’m strong but I’m tired. This feels good, but I’m tired. I won’t quit, I’ll push my body to the limit. I don’t have to do this, I don’t need to do this, I want to do this. I was there because I wanted to be there. I’m tired, but I want it.
I lay back, close my eyes, still moist and warm. The classical music is still playing, and my muscles feel like jello. I’m strong, but they are tired. We didn’t quit.
I stand, and I say to myself, I needed that so badly. The core movements, the stretching, the relaxation, it almost moved me to tears. I’m emotional. I’m strong, but I’m emotional. We didn’t quit.