Hitting a sexual lull in a relationship is an incredibly common problem to which many devote relatively little attention. We’ll put it this way: nobody wants to go to couples’ therapy, or sex therapy specifically, and most would rather avoid bringing up the issue of a “lull” with their partners. And even for those who do discuss the matter openly, there isn’t always a clear and obvious answer!
But as someone who’s gone through the process of hitting a lull, working through it constructively, and then finding things better than ever, I thought I might share some of the tips and ideas I found useful along the way. After all, reading tips on the Internet is a bit easier than sex therapy! So, here goes nothing: here are a few ways you might boost your sex life with your partner.
- Try New Positions – Let’s go ahead and get the most obvious (but possibly most helpful) tip out of the way right off the bat. New positions, which you can find at sources from Women’s Health to daily calendars, can be an incredible boost to your sex life. Let’s be clear though: you’ll have to openly talk about the desire to try new things. Once you do, and you and your partner agree to experiment, you’ll probably wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. I know I did.
- Exercise First – I had always heard that a workout could boost your sex drive, but never really took it seriously. However, when my partner and I decided to try it – really, just as a goofy experiment – we were pretty happy with the results! A workout before bed does two things: raises your energy so you’re not tired just yet, and gets your body feeling great, primed for sex.
- Break Out The Toys – Yes, sex toys seem a bit weird the first time around, and yes, many of them seem better geared for solo play. But don’t let these things stop you! A couple of orders from Adam & Eve (this link leads to an adult themed toy website. FYI.) might have been the single best move my partner and I made to boost our sex life. Specifically, we found that the toys naturally inspired us to look for new ways to please each other, and to enjoy the process.
- Get A Couples’ Massage – You’re never too far from a Massage Envy to make this happen, so give it a shot. It’s not as if you’ll fly into action immediately following each massage, but this is a rare, intimate physical activity you can share that can help you to reconnect. For us, this was more about romance than sex, but it’s certainly not as if the two aren’t connected!
- Dress Down – You don’t have to go full nudist, but dressing a bit more lightly when you’re at home can work wonders. Try experimenting with just underwear around the house (or whatever you’re comfortable with). It’s a bit awkward at first, as you’ll feel like you’re forcing the issue, but in time you’ll discover one vital truth: you’re ready for sex at any point, anywhere in the house, and that’s undeniably exciting.
In the end, what works for you might be one of these tips or something entirely different. But the important thing is addressing the issue head-on and trying something new. With an open attitude and some experimentation, you can have your sheets sizzling once more.
Stephen Marsh is a freelance writer and guest blogger. His personal expertise is in physical health, and he writes on topics ranging from fitness and lifestyle to sex and romance.