So I went through this article, and I tried to fairly and intelligently, and in some cases, ratchetly respond. Some of the points they make are kind of silly, and it makes me think that this person is probably young, or not the sharpest tool in the shed. However, once I started addressing it, I didn’t want to stop as I had already invested some time and energy. I was in too deep folks, so I saw it through.
So here you go, 30 points that this person thinks will stop a girl from having sex with you, along with my responses and or suggestions. This list is definitely not some scientifically curated list, but you’ll be able to decipher that right away.
1. Wearing the same exact pair of boxers all the damn time.
Who does this? Take a bath and change your undies you nasty mofos.
2. Taking your junk out through the hole in your boxers when she’s giving you a blowjob instead of actually removing your clothing (especially if there’s a cartoon character on them that she’d be forced to stare at).
Reasonable expectation. Natural progression I would expect.
3. Misjudging where the clitoris is and rubbing her in a random spot that does nothing for her.
Communication is magic. That’s not it? Then how about you just tell him? Men are not magicians. Teach him once, and he’ll know going forward.
4. Frequently eating food that you know is going to make your semen taste disgusting.
Uhm? How about you list the foods that offend you? This is very subjective.
5. Assuming that she’s ready for penetration, just because she feels wet (it might just be discharge, guys).
The deeper I get into this article, the more I’m feeling like this is a waste of time. Communication. If you’ve been going heavy, foreplaying, and you are not ready, let him know, get some lube, talk. Again, we are not magicians. Are we supposed to ask, “Hey, are you wet, or are you discharging?”
6. Refusing to eat her out, because you don’t like the taste.
Talk about it with him. Take a bath. Work it out. Move on if it’s that important to you. Some dudes ain’t into that, just like some women don’t like to give blow jobs.
7. Expecting her to continue riding you, even though it’s clear she’s worn out, instead of putting her into a new position and taking control.
You can tell she’s gassing out, don’t be a jerk. Switch positions bro.
8. Telling her to orgasm for you. You’re trying to sound sexy, but all she hears is that she’s taking too long.
This creates pressure, and if you are going to say it, then time it for once she says “I’m cumming” and you start to feel it happening. Show her how much pleasure it gives you to know that she’s cumming. Although, I read some bullcrap article that said, “men enjoying a woman’s orgasm is patriarchy.” LOL. Whatever.
9. Arguing with her every time she asks you to put a condom on, even though she’s only trying to be responsible.
Dump his ass on the spot. Period.
10. Looking at the wall or the headboard or the television instead of looking her in the eyes.
Work on this together. This could run deep.
11. Letting your fingernails grow too long and then trying to finger her with them.
Common sense. Don’t cut her vagina up. Communicate.
12. Expecting her to immediately return the favor every time you go down on her or give her a massage.
You should enjoy giving her these things, and not expect anything in return. That being said, pleasure is a two way street.
13. Kissing her when your beard is scratchy — it’s super painful and is going to turn her face all red.
Fair. I’ve encountered complaints to this during several relationships, and shaving is important. It does hurt their sensitive skin.
14. Getting pissed off when she turns down sex.
Hmm. This one depends. How often is this happening? If it’s all the time, well, that article title is gonna apply to you, and you will be replaced. Laws of nature.
15. Putting her into the same exact positions every time you have sex. And using the same dirty talk lines without slipping in anything new.
The language of sex works together. You don’t entirely control everything, and neither does she. It should flow as a unit and be dynamic.
16. Repeatedly trying to do something that she’s already told you is off limits.
I mean, yeah, you gotta accept this one. A perfect example is anal, not everyone is down for that, just let it go. Others don’t like to give oral, now that one is a bit more of a problem as it’s part of foreplay, etc. But communicate on this.
17. Constantly asking questions about what position she wants to be placed in instead of making a decision yourself.
You don’t talk or ask on this, you should just flow dynamically.
18. Letting the dog or cat into the room (or even worse, onto the bed).
Word. I’ve had this happen many times to me. Someone needs to tell this to the women, not to us.
19. Skipping foreplay and going straight for sex.
Agreed. I don’t like this at all, and I know for sure women don’t like this either. Foreplay is key!
20. Turning down sex whenever she initiates it (not because you’re tired, but because you want to make her see how rejection feels).
This has never happened in my life. Certainly not as an adult. Not into these mind games. This one indicates youth and inexperience.
21. Pushing her head toward your body when she’s giving you a blowjob.
Not sure I understand this one, so I’ll just pass.
22. Making any non-positive comment about her body, like that she needs to shave soon.
“That dress makes you look great.” Common sense folks, common sense.
23. Lasting so long that she starts to feel sore.
You should be able to tell when it’s gone too long, ie: she’s now dry. Though I bet you would prefer this to a one minute man.
24. Comparing her to someone else you’ve had sex with in the past.
This is a death sentence. Again, the writer and her partners must be young.
25. Trying to schedule sex instead of letting it happen naturally.
It should flow naturally. Although, as you get older, have kids, etc, the scheduling may come into play. I hate that though.
26. Being a dead fish while she does all of the work, all of the time.
What kind of dudes is this lady dating? Seriously, what the hell?
27. Forgetting to brush your teeth and put on deodorant beforehand.
Nastiness. At what point during the day, other than immediately after a shower or bath are you NOT wearing deodorant?
28. Closing your eyes to fantasize the entire time instead of enjoying her body.
How are you magically aware of why he closes his eyes? Communicate.
29. Trying to have sex with her when your mother is in the next room, close enough for her to hear.
Get your own damn apartment, again, the age is showing here.
30. Falling asleep as soon as you orgasm without giving her what she needs.
This one applies to all ages, and though I want to close by saying, “Your age is showing,” unfortunately, a lot of dude’s do this. Make sure she comes homie, otherwise someone else will.
Growing Up Bronx
Please note the date on a post as it may be an old viewpoint. I keep old posts to show my evolution. The opinions and views expressed here are solely those of the author.