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People say that guns kill people, and this may be true, but I think that my gun is not one of those. Let’s talk about it. By the way, her name is Moka.
Given the recent push by these big corporations, like Starbucks and Chipotle, to prevent Americans from exercising their second amendment rights, I decided to talk with my beloved Moka-san. You see, since she can simply decide to get up and shoot me, my objective was to convince her not to kill me. I took Moka out of her resting place, and I sat her on the table. I looked at her, I pleaded and explained that I was a good man, that I was a father, a husband, a son, a friend, a big brother, and a good citizen. I explained that I had at no time seriously harmed anyone, and that I never intend to do so.
I didn’t know what to think as I waited for a response. Moka-san doesn’t like to talk a lot. She simply sat there. She was quiet the whole time. I waited three hours looking at her, waiting for an answer, fearful that she may take me out at any moment. However, it never happened. She let me live. I soon realized that her silence was acceptance. Her lack of acknowledgement was her way of letting me know that she understood, that I was ok.
That’s when I learned about the true compassion that guns have. Moka understood all that I was saying. She got it, and she spared my life. Now I am fully convinced that guns have a bad reputation. Moka-san didn’t shoot me. She didn’t jump up and kill me. She let me live.
All that being said, I’d like to ask Chipotle to reconsider. Guns don’t kill people, my conversation with Moka-san last night served as proof that they are just misunderstood creatures. If you talk to your guns, and explain to them your life story, they won’t jump up and shoot you. I suggest that all Chipotle and Starbucks employees are given the same chance at life. It is imperative that all employees talk to, and come to an agreement with all the inanimate objects at the restaurants. Start with the knives, and work your way from there. These conversations need to be had.
I recently watched a documentary on Netflix about Chipotle. I was extremely impressed with these guys and what they do. Case in point, I had Chipotle for dinner last night, with some chips, and an izze grapefruit drink. After this recent discovery though, I am going to boycott them. What kind of company doesn’t provide human to inanimate object sensitivity training? How can you allow your employees to work in a place where the knives, or stoves, or even the animal meat that fell out of the sky and was not a live animal that was killed to make meat can attack and kill you?
This behavior is truly unacceptable, and I hope that Chipotle and all the other businesses that are considering messing with our second amendment rights come to their senses. In NYC, my boycotting won’t have much effect. These liberals will applaud and continue to eat their food at chipotle until they blow up and die. However, in the rest of America, we can cause a change. Stand with gun owners, and show these companies that they are not above our constitution! Boycott all of these businesses that are attempting to take away our constitutional rights.