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NYCTalking Podcast

Just an average guy from New York City and his friends all over the world talking about anything and everything. Commentary on current events, film, food, fitness, social issues and much more!

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Some time ago, I wrote a post saying I wasn’t completely comfortable with my wife training jiu jitsu with men. The reaction from many practitioners was intense. I was called insecure, and some people insisted that abuse simply doesn’t happen in the BJJ community.

Since then, I’ve seen more and more posts and discussions acknowledging that jiu jitsu has had issues with grooming and abuse, and that these problems have existed for years. It’s been interesting to watch that shift. When I first shared my concerns, a lot of higher belts and experienced practitioners dismissed my perspective. Now, many of those same types of voices openly recognize that these problems are real.

That contrast is hard to ignore. I talk about it in more detail in episode 116.

I saw something similar during my time in the military. In environments that are heavily male dominated, with very few women, the risk of misconduct can increase. My concerns were never about insecurity. They were about awareness, caution, and looking out for the people I care about.

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Episode 116 – BJJ Safety, Abuse Concerns, and Changing Attitudes in the Jiu Jitsu Community

02/09/2026, 3:56 pm

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