I think that most of us want to be good and helpful people. When we see something that appears wrong, we want to provide help and guidance. Especially when it comes to our friends and family. That’s what you want to do, but does it mean you “should” do that? Let’s explore that.
Over the years, I’ve damaged a few friendships for telling my friends to slow it down with their new partner. In all these scenarios, they were going way too fast and in my *opinion* exposing themselves to the possibility of a rude awakening. See the issue there? My opinion. Does my opinion even belong in this equation?
I’ll reference the most recent one. This was a friend who was sharing their journey on tiktok and IG. I saw many posts that raised concerns, but never said anything. Then one day the friend mentioned talk about babies. That’s when I felt that as a good friend, I should speak up and tell them to pump their brakes. But again, I ask, is that my place?
Angel: Hi friend, you should not be talking about babies, moving in, engagement, weddings, none of these things with this new person. You have been only dating a few weeks.
Them: You don’t know about my situation! You don’t even talk to me on the phone!
Angel: It’s only been two weeks, I know about it because you are sharing it with the world. But you are right, I should mind my own business.
Them: *Blocked me on all social media*
After that encounter, I was abruptly cut off altogether. I wasn’t trying to hurt my friend, I was just concerned about their level of commitment to such a new person. In hindsight, I should have stayed quiet, but I was worried. The person was posting IG videos of weddings from the partner’s culture, talking about kids, and all kinds of other “not after 2 weeks talk.” I kept quiet until I heard the mentioning of kids, then I had to speak up.
Anyway, that’s why I keep my mouth shut nowadays. I see this happening quite often, but it is not my place to interfere or say anything. I just mind my own business and let things run their course.
What are your thoughts on this? Should you speak up when your friends are going overboard or should you just leave it?
Just a life long New Yorker sharing the journey through my lens. Please take note of a post’s date. The views I express here are subject to change and evolving as I grow and learn.