When I was in basic training, we were being marched somewhere—I don’t recall exactly where, but I think it was the obstacle course. We literally marched everywhere; they never wanted us alone, and you had to be marching. If you were out there by yourself, even if you had permission, and a drill instructor caught you, they would punish and push you hard. Even if you were with the minimum two people, they’d get you, but if you were alone, it was on until the break of dawn. In any case, we marched a lot.
One day we were marching and there was a pipe sticking up from the floor. The first airman hit it because we were marching in a straight line, then the second, and the third, and so on. Everyone was banging into this pipe, then when it was my turn, I broke ranks, got out of formation, and dodged the pipe.
LEFT… RIGHT. LEFT.. RIGHT. FLIIIIIIIGHT… HAAAAAAALT……
“Rodriguez, what was that just now? Did you break ranks, Rodriguez? I know my eyes deceive me, Rodriguez, please tell me I didn’t see that. You did not just break ranks, nearly trip a fellow airman, and bump another to avoid an obstacle. You didn’t just do that, Rodriguez?”
Sir, Airman Rodriguez reports as ordered: I cannot insult your intelligence with a lie, sir. I did break ranks.
“And why, pray, dare I ask, did you do such a thing, Rodriguez? None of your element did that. Why are you so special that you get to do things differently?”
Sir, Airman Rodriguez reports as ordered: I felt that this endangered my body and would inhibit my service to the Air Force. It was an act driven by my desire to serve my nation, sir. Also, it looked very painful, sir.
I swear I saw him lower his head and stifle a laugh. I almost got this man to break. But then he doubled down!
“Rodriguez, I am assigning you to KP duty for this transgression! Do you understand me? Tomorrow morning, 3 a.m., you will report for kitchen patrol! Am I clear?”
Sir, Airman Rodriguez reports as ordered: Kitchen patrol, 3 a.m., understood. Yes, sir.
“Flight, Forward, march!”
Weeks later, that drill instructor pulled me aside and told me that I was the only independent thinker in my element, and that the rest were unwise for allowing themselves to be put in harm’s way like that. He said that nearly everyone would do KP, and he just used that moment as an excuse to assign me. By the end of basic training, my drill instructors treated me well. I was one of the more useful recruits and they recognized my value. As such, I enjoyed a few perks, like some behind-the-scenes insight, extra food, and a bit more flexibility toward the end.
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