I recently had an experience where a young child, around six years old, became a little too carried away during a social gathering. We don’t really know each other well, and she was quite comfortable with me in ways that crossed some clear boundaries. Below are a few of the things that happened:

1. The child came over to me and said “Who are you?” I said “Hi, I’m Angel.” This was not bad in itself, but the look on her face told me she wasn’t done.

2. She came over sometime later and started kneeing me on the thigh, attempting to straddle my leg and jump around. I don’t allow any child to do that, and I don’t think it is appropriate regardless of intent. I held her back and told her to stop.

3. Later she came over and said “What’s that on your face?” I told her there was nothing on my face. She then slapped me and said “Yes there is, I got it though.” I shook my head and looked at her. Touching someone’s face without permission is a serious boundary for me.

4. Later she returned and said “You are heavier than my dad, but he’s taller. You are a big, fat, white guy. He’s not fat like you.” At that point it was clear this child was pushing boundaries considerably, especially given that we barely knew each other.

5. Later on she picked up a chip, dipped it in guacamole, and threw it at me. It ended up all over my arms and clothes. I am not a fan of guacamole, so that made it even more frustrating.

6. After I cleaned up, she came back and started hitting me again, threatening to throw more guacamole. I told her clearly, “Stop. You are getting carried away and being disrespectful.”

Her uncle was nearby at that point, and I asked him to step in. He told her to stop. Later her mom came over, and I asked how old the child was, which is when I found out she was six. I mentioned calmly that her age might explain some of her behavior. I told the mom what had happened, and she looked at her daughter and said “Angel is family, you can’t treat him badly, be nice to him.” The little one responded with “How can he be family, he’s not Chinese.” Mom tried to explain and eventually moved on. After that, I observed the child doing something the parents had already told her not to do, and the consequence offered was a time out warning.

I assumed she was playing around and I was not furious, but slapping and repeatedly disrespecting an adult is not acceptable behavior regardless of age. I ended up feeling under the weather and excused myself from the event, as I didn’t want to cause further disruption. Leaving felt like the right call.

This video below discusses “La Chancla” (Spanish for sandal), a well known method of discipline in many Latino households. It is an interesting contrast to approaches used in other cultures.

I have little tolerance for disrespect, particularly when it involves someone putting their hands on me without permission. Stepping away was the right decision. I do plan to bring this up with both parents, as this behavior really does need to be addressed. As if I didn’t already have enough on my plate dealing with the little situation upstairs!