There’s something I’ve noticed our brother-in-law do quite often, and he does it very comfortably. He addresses my wife’s parents as mom and dad. I observe this and while I can appreciate it and think it’s nice, it’s not something I could ever do in my life. Mind you, this has nothing to do with them—my in-laws are amazing people and we get along splendidly. So don’t misread my message here.

In my life, the only person I’d ever call mom is my birth mother, and the only person I’d call dad is my birth father. I have one woman in my life whom I gave the honor of referring to as my “second mom,” but that’s it; I never actually called her “mom.” Everyone else is a friend, family member, or in some cases an honorary aunt. But the thought of calling someone who didn’t raise me, sacrifice for me, or put in all the work my mother did is something I can’t do. If you grew up with me, you’d understand how important that title of mom is. My father did his part, but the title dad isn’t as significant to me as the title mom. There is and will only ever be one mom to me.

So while I admire and respect that this man does that, as it stands today, I don’t think I could ever do that with anyone other than my mother. Those are some mighty big shoes to try and fill. Unless someone struggled day in and day out to guide me through difficult times, unless they gave their all to help shape who I am today, no other person could earn the title of “mom” for me.

I’ll repeat this once more for anyone who may try to twist my words: This has nothing to do with my current in-laws, my past in-laws, or any in-laws that may cross my path. It has absolutely nothing to do with them, who they are, how they are, or how I feel about them. It has everything to do with my parents, who they are, what they did for me, and how they made me who I am. Mom and Dad are very unique roles, unique roles that only they can have.