I have a “friend” who I believe hooked up with my ex. Shortly after we split, me and this guy were heading somewhere and he started telling me, “Yo, I heard your ex is pretty vocal during sex. I mean, I don’t know firsthand, my friend told me.” I was like, seriously? Your friend told you that?

Honestly, I didn’t care about the girl anymore and the guy wasn’t a very close friend of mine, so I didn’t think it was worth pursuing my suspicions about him being the so-called friend. I just didn’t care enough to have that conversation. I left her because I wasn’t happy and she was no longer my concern. I didn’t think it was cool and I didn’t appreciate that he tried to be deceptive about it. But honestly, though I didn’t like what he was pushing, I just didn’t care enough to engage with it. Whatever, who cares.

After years with this woman, I knew what kind of person she was. I doubt a friend of his would so easily get involved with her and then share that level of detail. He, on the other hand, fit her pattern perfectly, so it wouldn’t surprise me at all. I was more insulted that he underestimated my intelligence than by the act itself. Still, I maintain this was some shady stuff on his part.

Anyway, one of my friends was asking what I thought about one of his friends trying to hook up with his ex. I remembered this story and shared it with him. My friend never said it was him, and me and her never talked about that because, like I said, I really didn’t give it much thought since I had no feelings for her. I did think it was uncool for him to hook up with my ex so soon after we split. But I haven’t seen that guy in years, same with the ex. Neither is relevant to my life now. It only came to mind because of that question.

So what do you think? Is it cool to hook up with a friend’s ex? I’d say it depends on the closeness of the friendship, the relationship’s level, and where loyalties lie. Most of my close friends’ exes would be off limits, but acquaintances? Not so much.