As I’m grooming my face, I’m listening to some old school freestyle music. I’m talking Johnny Q, Cynthia, TKA, Stevie B, Body and Style, and others from that era. It’s giving me flashbacks to my early teens. I was a kid during the freestyle era, so I didn’t party much. But I remember at least one freestyle party that my mom took us to. I remember a speaker as tall as me, and being a wallflower.
My first thought after these flashbacks is that I need to visit some of my childhood friends’ parents in the old block soon, it’s been quite a while since I stopped through. Growing up, our parents were all our parents to a degree. Mom, second mom, third mom, and so on.
Next, I thought of this “older woman,” a teenager that we all had a crush on back in those days. I wondered what ever became of her? Would we still crush on her today? Many of the girls I was attracted to back then no longer catch my attention these days. I’m curious if this “older woman” would still catch my eye? Would she find me attractive as a grown man? I’d love a reunion of all the people from those days, both the good and the challenging ones.
In my block some years after that big speaker memory, Clarke Place, there were several strong families, but two stood out as block royalty of sorts. This older teenager was a member of one of them. They each seemed to run their sides of the street and respected each other. Sometimes they had scuffles, but for the most part, they didn’t cross each other’s paths negatively. I think they both understood what the other family was capable of and had an unspoken truce. Everyone else, though, was fair game and had to abide by the unwritten rules laid out by these families.
I mention those two families, but there were other smaller but strong families. It’s funny how when I think back to that time, it’s now so clear that some families on the block were stronger than others. They had many siblings, cousins, aunts, and uncles so that no one messed with them. They held this unwritten but very real power on the street. It’s somewhat like powerful houses in the world of royalty. Those houses run their designated regions, and in a way, it was the same on our blocks. There were gangs and crews with their own rules and regulations, but some families were gangs of their own.
Family number one, which will remain unnamed, was a Puerto Rican family led by a stern, elderly matriarch. The women had many young kids. I thought of them as the older women, but really, I am older today than they were then. Each woman had at least one kid and some had multiple children in my age range. Some of the girls were close to my sister and came over from time to time.
The men of the family didn’t seem to have many kids, but I presume their kids were elsewhere with their mothers. In the world we come from, many homes are broken, and the job of raising kids often falls on the mothers. But even without factoring in the men’s potential kids, this was a really large family with a lot of influence on the block.
I was friendly with most of the kids, and the adults were friendly with me. The matriarch was nice at times, but could be strict at others. I guess it depended on what she had going on that day. I always spoke to her with respect, not because I feared the family, but because I was raised to respect my elders. She was like the local grandma we all loved and respected, but also approached carefully.
The other family, which will also remain unnamed, was a Black family. They were also led by a matriarch, if I recall correctly. As I mentioned before, many of our families were broken and the women stepped up. This family wasn’t as big, but what they lacked in size, they made up for in close alliances and a strong presence. I was cordial with most of the adults in this family. To be honest, they probably didn’t notice or pay much attention to me. The kids were mostly cool with me. I remember a couple who were super chill with me.
There was one male in this family who was known for being a bully. He knew many people in other blocks and often brought them over to our block. This guy, through his alliances, increased the influence his family had on the block. I didn’t get along with him; he often targeted me. Him and his crew regularly threatened me, stole my belongings, and sometimes physically intimidated me.
I recall one time when one of his friends was alone and started in on me. I fought back and began to get the upper hand. Shortly after, the others showed up, and as a group, they took control. I had a blade pulled on me that day and was threatened. The bully didn’t let things go too far, probably to avoid serious consequences. They used force to dominate, but weapons seemed reserved for situations where that wasn’t enough. He also used the blade once to pop some “gang” beads I was wearing. That’s a whole other story and quite the joke.
One time when the bully was being friendly to me, I somehow told him about a game that this kid had stolen from me. He went to that kid’s house (who he also knew), took the game, and then kept it. This guy also stole a gold cap from me, my bicycle inner tubes, drinks, and anything else he wanted.
The last conversation I remember with him was in front of his building. He wanted to see my sunglasses. I was a bit older and bigger by then. I didn’t know how to fight, but I was braver. I told him, “No, you can’t see them. I know what that means.” He said, “I could just take them from you, A.” I replied, “You can try.” He laughed and said, “Don’t forget, this is still my block,” then he walked away.
His older brother was cool with me, as were his sisters. But for some reason, he tormented me for years. My interactions with that family were limited because of him. I never visited or hung out with them. Though I said his brother and sisters were pretty cool, I kept my distance.
All that said, you can see how those two families held a lot of influence on the block, one by sheer numbers, the other through the enforcer and his allies. On hot summer days when we played in the fire hydrant, they would come down and shut it off because someone was going to shower, and there was nothing any of us could do about it because we didn’t want trouble. If the Puerto Rican family wanted the hydrant and the Black family wanted the shower, words would be exchanged, and they’d come to a peaceful agreement or understanding. I don’t recall seeing them fight often.
It’s wild, but our neighborhood blocks were almost like self-contained communities with their own sets of social dynamics. You either followed the unwritten rules or faced consequences. I’m not sure how things are these days, but I imagine not too much has changed.
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