Episode 79 – How bad did she hurt you?

I had just suffered one of my greatest heartbreaks ever. So great, that about two nights ago, I dreamt that I was I arguing with that particular ex. Then after we were done screaming at each other she tried to attack me, and then she jumped on me, and we made wild, passionate love. It was that kind of a heartbreak y’all. The kind that all these years later she still manages to infiltrate my dreams.

Shortly after the split, I got into the greatest shape of my life. I was already pretty lean and ripped, but her leaving me took me to a whole other level. I was so hurt and poured it all into the gym, I got more shredded than I’d ever been in my entire life!

I remember when I went to the beach, so many women used to hit on me. They’d ask me to sit with them on their blankets and have some of their food and drink. But no, I was heartbroken, but I still didn’t eat carbs or meals out of my schedule.

During that period, I remember one scenario in particular. I was in the hip hop room at Webster hall. There were so many beautiful women all around me. I remember this cute, Indian girl staring at me. I weakly smiled at her and kept “holding up the wall.”

That’s when this song came on and I lost it. I started silently shedding tears, privately, or so I thought. I figured no one would notice since it was dark and crowded. But I was wrong. The pretty Indian girl noticed the change in my demeanor. She came over and asked me, “what’s wrong?” So, being the sentimental idiot that I am, I told her that my heart had just been broken by the most beautiful woman in the world and this song reminded me of her because it was playing one of the last times we made love, ironically.

This beautiful, Indian woman who was clearly interested in the adonis that was me, appeared to get kind of sad and I could see her pitying my pathetic ass. I can’t blame her, I mean, look where I was at, look who I was talking to, look around, and there I was crying like a pathetic loser over some woman who didn’t love me. After a few moments of trying to raise my spirits, her friends came by, she gave me a gentle kiss, wished me luck and then said goodbye.

It only makes sense that I mourn this lost love at the very place I met her. Interestingly, I only just made that connection. I met “the most beautiful girl in the world, who broke my heart” at Webster Hall. And there I was at Webster Hall crying over her.

Usually, the memory of that night comes forth whenever I hear this song. It no longer makes me cry or affects me the same way it used to, but I still remember that pain. I’ll never forget it; it truly was a low point for me. Clearly, my subconscious also remembers given my dreams. The power that music has to transport you back in time never ceases to amaze me. I do wonder what ever became of that pretty Indian girl who tried to cheer me up that night. Thanks, and cheers to you, pretty lady. I hope life has been kind to you, the way you were to me.