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Episode 82 – I still want sex

I mean like all the time. I’m in my 40s and I thought that by this age my sexual desires would have subsided some, but they have not. I am still just as horny as I was in my teens and twenties. The desire for sex still sits at the forefront of my mind.

Granted, I don’t know that I can go for a six hour nonstop marathon like I did in my twenties. I don’t think I can reach orgasm and immediately go back to work like the old days. However, given the proper stimulation I’m sure that I can still rock with the best of them. Scratch that, I know I can.

I remember years ago I asked a married friend of mine, “After 20 years, do you still desire your wife like you did in the beginning?” He responded “I have and always will desire that woman in every way.” I understand that now. After 16 years I’ve been with my wife longer than with any other woman and I still yearn for her as I did in the beginning.

Mind you, I still notice other women, all the time. Recently, I had an attractive woman come over to me and ask me about attending my Zumba classes. Her flirtatious energy and nervous vibes told me that if I wanted to pursue something there, all I had to do was make a move. But I did not, obviously. I answered the question, made her giggle a bit, then went back to my workout. Of course, I could be wrong in my assessment here, but I’m usually not. You can tell when someone is interested in you.

For me, that is the greatest struggle with being married. I get turned down for intimacy far more than I ever did as a single man. Living a life where there is a very high probability of rejection has been the biggest source of internal conflict for me in monogamy. It’s a life where you feel both wanted and rejected at the same time and that’s weird. But you know, love, am I right?

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