We were traveling throughout Asia, and one of our stops was Japan. By this point, I had already emotionally checked out of the relationship. The woman had been treated pretty poorly for a long time, and by the time things improved, I had already moved on emotionally.

For those of you who don’t know, I love all things Japanese, especially the culture and people. So as we sat down at the Japanese restaurant and the very friendly waitress engaged us in conversation, I was genuinely interested.

At one point, she mentioned that she often visits NYC. I said that was great and suggested that we should all hang out during her next trip. She seemed interested, and I tried to take the opportunity to connect. If I recall correctly, I offered my card, but then I noticed my then-girlfriend giving me a disapproving look. The waitress noticed and excused herself.

My ex looked at me and said, “Are you hitting on her?” I replied no, that I was just trying to make a new friend as I usually do. She wasn’t convinced. This made the rest of the dinner awkward.

I never did get to connect with the waitress, and my girlfriend and I eventually split, as I had already sensed would happen long before. Why do we hold on to things when we know they’re over?