Years ago I went to an event hosted by some Latino friends. I was expecting a warm welcome from the hosts, but they were quite busy and couldn’t spend much time introducing me around. That’s understandable, and I don’t hold it against them.
That’s okay, I can fend for myself. I’m friendly and sociable. Besides, these are my people, right? Latinos! So, I started moving around and chatting, hoping to feel that warm connection at this event. However, that wasn’t the case. Instead of warmth, I experienced a noticeable chill.
With every passing moment, I felt more uncomfortable. I tried to join a few different group conversations. In some groups, there were familiar faces I thought would be more welcoming, alongside strangers I’d never met.
In all cases, I felt like they were keeping me at a distance. You know how it feels when people close you out through body language, standing angles, and sometimes walking away abruptly to get a drink. I don’t know why this happened since I didn’t say or do anything wrong, but they weren’t friendly at all. I have my suspicions as to why, but I won’t speculate here.
The irony is that some of them often speak about love, acceptance, and inclusion. Yet those same people were the ones who made me feel excluded. It didn’t take long before I decided it was better to leave that uncomfortable situation.
I’m up for a challenge and willing to win people over, but I’m not going to stay somewhere I’m being shunned. This is my personal time, so why spend it feeling unwelcome? Sure, I’d love to make friends, but I’m not going to beg or push harder than I already have. It’s just not worth the effort. If someone treats me that way, I don’t see a reason to pursue friendship. I don’t treat people like that, and I prefer friends who don’t either.
I did commute out there, but I wasn’t going to stick around a group that didn’t seem to accept me. I was physically present, but the attendee cliques didn’t include me, and the hosts were unavailable.
While the hosts were kind enough to invite me, I felt somewhat abandoned, so my motivation to stay faded quickly. I quietly left the event. I haven’t forgotten that day; it was painful to feel excluded by people I expected to connect with. Every time I see some of them post about loving all people, it’s hard not to notice the disconnect between their words and actions. I prefer to avoid drama, so I keep these thoughts to myself, but I am aware of the gap between their message and behavior.
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