I was walking towards them, I looked in their direction, attempted to make eye contact to nod and say hello as I often do when passing people. They avoided my eyes, and eventually sent in my direction what I perceived to be a scowl. This all happened within seconds, by the way. I frowned and asked myself, does this woman dislike me?
You may be wondering why I assumed they were Muslim. Well, they were both dressed in full Muslim attire, covered from head to toe, including their faces. The only part visible was the small slit by their eyes so they could still see where they were going.
I felt a little offended, and I thought to myself that maybe they did not like me because I’m an American. They are in this country, but perhaps they aren’t comfortable with me. She just scowled at me, (her eyes told me so) simply for looking in her direction to say hello. I had a fleeting thought that she might have negative feelings about Americans.
I made these assumptions based on very little information. Then I began to wonder, why is it my instinct to think that she dislikes me just because she scowled? Her outfit, why did it make me slightly uncomfortable and uncertain? Did she pick that up from me?
As all these questions went through my mind, I realized that the media has done a lot to influence how people perceive one another. We have been conditioned by television and the echo chamber to carry certain preconceptions, and those preconceptions can sometimes become an automatic reaction. I stand up for my Muslim brothers and sisters all the time, and have been called naive or unrealistic for it. Yet, even with all that, when I saw these two women scowl, an internal reaction happened, and that reaction was reinforced by the thoughts in my head after the scowl.
As a person who is always looking for ways to grow and learn, I brought this topic up to a Muslim friend of mine, and we engaged in some intellectual discourse over what happened, and what I perceived.
My friend asked me if I knew why Muslim women wear a Hijab, and I said I believed I did. It’s about modesty, and covering yourself, more or less. He said, “More or less,” and then continued, being aware of that fact, how do you think it would make her feel to have a man staring at her, trying to catch her attention when she’s clearly not looking for it?
MIND BLOWN
When you put it that way, that makes a whole lot of sense. She’s covering herself because she doesn’t want attention. I understand that your intentions may be good, simply wanting to greet her and say hello, but you must understand that in their culture, women don’t usually talk to random men on the street. Especially a woman who is clearly very religious and true to her faith.
Did she scowl at you? Maybe she did, but your instinctive reaction to why she did it may have been off. I mean, maybe she thought you looked unfriendly or something, but it’s more likely she felt you were being disrespectful.
His viewpoint made a lot of sense and really clarified the possibilities of what happened. It also showed me how much influence, even as someone who genuinely supports the Muslim community, the media, film, and television have had on me through their messaging.
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