Over the years, particularly after I became a Zumba instructor, I’ve had a few persistent individuals in my life. They come in all shapes, sizes, genders, and levels of mental health.
The most recent situation involved someone whose gym membership was canceled after they attempted to bite me in a room full of 40 people, and several of those present reported it to the front desk. This was not their first complaint, but it was the last official one.
This person was disruptive in class. They jumped on stage uninvited, moved around the floor in ways that disrupted others’ experience, and even removed most of their clothing down to their underwear during class. They entered the men’s locker room on multiple occasions looking for me while I was changing and other men were in various states of undress. They called out my name loudly in the locker room. During class, they expressed that they were in love with me and asked me to kiss them. Despite my efforts to set boundaries by putting my arm up and moving away, they continued attempting to grab me. Every time I stepped off the stage, they would jump up, and I had to remove them, as they tried to touch me inappropriately.
During the last incident, they repeatedly stood on stage, and when I attempted to remove them, they resisted and made a biting gesture toward my arm. I felt their teeth lightly on my arm and pulled away before anything more serious occurred. After class, they approached me asking for help regarding someone named Holly, presumably a spouse or partner. I explained that while I wished I could help, I was not in a position to intervene in domestic matters and advised them to contact the police if they felt they were in danger. Despite this, they insisted that I was their protector and that I should help them. I had to decline, both for my own safety and for the safety of others.
This person knows I am married and has seen my wife, but does not appear to respect that. I believe there may be a mental health component involved, and I do feel sympathy, but the behavior became unmanageable. It was not even me who reported it. It was my students.
After their membership was canceled, they refused to leave the gym, claiming there were no witnesses. Staff confirmed that multiple people had reported the behavior. They insisted on waiting for me and refused to leave even after being asked. I remained in the locker room, concerned that appearing would escalate the situation. They said they had a cross they wanted to give me for protection, but I felt it was best not to accept anything under these circumstances. They left a note with their home address at the front desk, and management asked whether I felt I was in danger because of them.
They continued insisting on staying, threatened to call the police, and only left when police were actually called. Knowing their pattern, I suspected they might still be in the area, so I exited through a different route and took a different way home. I wore a hoodie, as I had done the last time, to avoid being noticed. They had a habit of waiting out of sight to approach me unexpectedly.
For the record, I tried to be patient and considerate throughout this. I did not want to hurt their feelings or create unnecessary conflict. I even made up a story about the stage being slippery from sweat as the reason I was removing them, so they would not feel singled out. While that was partly true, the real reason was that students are not permitted on stage and I needed them to respect that boundary.
I never felt seriously threatened, but having to avoid someone in this way is frustrating and uncomfortable. I should not feel uneasy teaching a class. I made general announcements in both Spanish and English about appropriate behavior and the fact that grabbing or biting the instructor was not acceptable, but it did not seem to help. Now that staff has stepped in and handled the situation, I am grateful. I hope this is the end of it, though I suspect it may not be entirely resolved. For now, I will continue using a different entrance to the gym.
Leave a Reply