Yo soy Boricua, 100% through and through. One of my hip hop songs says “Naci en Puerto Rico pero criado en Nueva York, expresando lo que siento poecia en espanol. Palabras que dominan representando para ti, yo parezco un blanquito pero sembrado en el coqui! La isla del encante es como llaman mi pais, comiendo arroz con habichuelas, the delicious rice and beans.”
New York City is my home. I have lived here since I was 5 years old. But I was born in Puerto Rico, and back then my dad was always hustling en el caserio, which was a tough time for a long while. One day, suddenly, we all packed up and moved to NYC, just like that, asi mismo. Before that, I have vague memories of some tense moments at home that I never fully understood as a child. Sparing you more family details, let’s fast forward to today. I’m a 35-year-old Latino raised in the South Bronx, among other Latinos and Black people, my people, right? Not always.
There were some challenges growing up.
0) I look very much like a white person.
1) I look very much like a white person.
2) I look very much like a white person.
3) I wanted to get an education, and by going to school and doing the right things, I was accused of “acting white” or trying to be like “the whites.”
4) I wasn’t violent and stayed out of trouble, which some saw as being soft and made me even more of a “white” target.
5) Did I mention I looked very much like a white person?
6) I tried to speak proper English, and that was seen as acting white again, which didn’t go over well in my neighborhood.
During that time, many of my Puerto Rican brothers and sisters didn’t accept me. In fact, I faced more bullying from some people in my own community than from Black or other Latino groups, including Dominicans, who are sometimes seen as rivals. Because of this, I never fully embraced my culture. These experiences made me feel rejected and like an outsider, all because I worked hard at school and stayed out of trouble. So I mostly kept to myself and a small group of mixed friends during my youth.
There was a period where I found myself drawn toward the wrong crowd, and I’ll be honest, seeking acceptance in that environment came with real consequences and risks. Thankfully, I pulled away before things went too far. Looking back, I can see clearly how those circumstances push young people into making choices that don’t reflect who they truly are or want to be.
Now that I’m older, with better social skills, more confidence, and no worries about being picked on, I’ve started reconnecting with my roots and heritage. Back then, I felt that my people didn’t care for me, so I didn’t care much for them or our ways. I focused on my studies and getting out of there as soon as possible. Once I was able to stand on my own two feet, I moved away from the Bronx to places like Forest Hills and Brooklyn Heights. I only returned for family visits or when absolutely necessary, which wasn’t often. I did my best to stay away.
But now, meeting more like-minded Latinos, I find myself embracing the culture and wanting to learn and experience more. Attending events like the Capicu Cultural Showcase or working with people like those at Latino Rebels, where I am surrounded by Latinos showing nothing but love, it’s a beautiful feeling. I wonder why it wasn’t like this when I was younger, why I didn’t feel this then. I feel like I’ve missed a lot.
But it’s better late than never to embrace and be embraced by your culture, right?
As a side note, don’t punish people for doing the right things. Respect them, support them, or even join them. They may be your boss one day!
Leave a Reply