Parenting Tips: Raising Kids That Respect You and Avoid Legal Trouble

I’m sure that most of you have heard the story of Rachel Canning. She is the teen who is suing her parents! How can we avoid being in that same situation? To help us with this question, I have recruited Freddy Baez, an LCSW-R (Social Worker) and former CASAC who works at Full Circle Health in NYC. Mr. Baez is an adjunct professor, a Reverend, and a mentor for an organization that helps rehabilitate young offenders.

Following are three tips that can make the difference between a child who respects you and one who challenges your authority in serious ways.

Talk to your kids!

Mr. Baez put it quite succinctly: “What you give your time to, has your heart!” In this age of nannies, day care, and late work hours, it is easy to forget the basics. Mr. Baez says that there is no substitute for face time—you cannot take shortcuts with your kids. You must deliberately plan the time to get to know your child. He emphasized that you cannot take a one-size-fits-all approach with children. What worked for one child won’t necessarily work for another. Make the deliberate effort to study your child face to face. His last words on this point were “You reap what you sow!”

Encourage their passion!

My son loves to draw. It is not only my job, but my pleasure, to support his art. When my son shows me a finished drawing, I can see his passion come to life. When kids are involved with their passions, it helps keep them engaged and away from negative behaviors. This is important everywhere, but especially in higher-risk environments. Mr. Baez believes that parents invest time, effort, and money when it matters most, or they may face the need to invest later under more difficult circumstances. Save for college, but also make an effort to invest in your children while they are young—otherwise you might have to invest in court proceedings or counseling when they are older.

Teach by example!

Do as I say, not as I do—that old saying still rings true but is often less effective than modeling the behavior we want. Actions speak louder than words. Want an honest child? Then be an honest person. Children learn by watching those around them—they absorb what they see. Mr. Baez asked a simple question: “Can you honestly say that you are a person of integrity?” He believes the quickest way to harm your relationship with a child is a lack of integrity.

Mr. Baez shared an example about when his son called his little sister a hurtful name. He pulled his son aside and asked, “Have you ever heard me insult or curse at your mother or sister?” When his son said no, Mr. Baez asked why he felt he had the right to speak that way to his sister when his father would never do that. Recognizing his mistake, his son bowed his head in understanding. Teaching by example means simply being the example.

Following these basic, yet often overlooked tips can help make your life as a parent much more pleasant. You might even avoid any legal troubles! Do you have any tips for us? Please share them in the comment section!

FYI, that’s not my child in the picture; that’s my little sister. However, I helped raise her, and she never sued us. LOL.