Adopting and Returning Roxy the Pom: An Emotional Journey

Sometime ago, my wife and I adopted #peppathepom. Everything with Peppa for the most part has been running smoothly. She walks on a leash, doesn’t bark excessively, and usually pees and poos where she’s supposed to.

Peppa is not food aggressive and she’s friendly to humans as well as dogs. For all intents and purposes, we have the perfect dog.

When we were picking the dogs, one of them stood out along with Peppa, and we said, “That one looks like a rockstar” because of how she looked in the picture illustrated below. Jokingly, I said, “she’s too wild, it’s gonna be awhile before she’s adopted.”

At that point, I was now aware of Rockstar who we subsequently named “Roxy” for short. After a few months with Peppa, I checked to make sure that all the pups listed with Peppa were adopted, and all were, except… You guessed it, Roxy.

At that point I became aware that this pup was still in a cage in South Korea, and I really wanted her out of there.

A friend of mine said she wanted Roxy, so I put her in touch with Mercy Puppy Rescue. She had everything required for adoption, except her lease. She couldn’t find it and needed to get it from her landlord. In our neighborhood, landlords are not always prompt or responsive, which caused a delay.

So during an impulsive moment, and to get her out of her cage in South Korea, I spoke with the Mrs and we decided to adopt Roxy. I put the deposit down, and a few weeks later, she was here with us.

I was hoping that by the time my wife and I arrived, all the other adopters would be gone so that Peppa and Roxy could peacefully meet in a neutral space. Unfortunately, that was not the case. We got stuck in traffic, and apparently so did everyone else.

When we arrived, two other couples were arriving and there were like four or five other dogs there. It was an intense, chaotic scene. Roxy was still crated when we arrived and we waited awhile to see if the location would empty out, but it did not.

I did my best to shield Peppa from the chaos around us, and then opened the crate for Roxy. She was very timid at first and scared to come out. After some time, she started making her way out.

First, she stuck out her head, and we saw the cutest little snout, head and eyes ever. She truly is a beautiful puppy. Then she slowly started making her way out and we were truly able to appreciate how big a puppy she really was. We all said “wow, that’s a giant Pom.”

Meanwhile, the chaos was still going on around us. Then Roxy and Peppa saw each other; they barely acknowledged one another and then Peppa pulled off into a corner, clearly distressed and unhappy about the noise and commotion around her. Roxy didn’t seem to mind the snub; she moved along and started playing with the other dogs. One of them, a Shiba Inu, was playing really rough with her, so I had them separate. Roxy was still very scared and timid.

We then proceeded to do all the paperwork and put her back in the crate to bring her home. Peppa was on my lap, and Roxy was in the crate. Except for a bit of whining in the beginning, she was fairly calm on the way home.

Once we arrived home, it quickly became clear that we had a challenging situation with the two pups. I’ll explain shortly.

One thing I’ve noticed is that many people have told me I took action too fast. And I know I did, I questioned my decision all night and all morning because I didn’t sleep. I struggled with what to do and I cried during the moments I managed to rest.

While I appreciate everyone’s feedback, it would have been more helpful before we got the dog, in preparation for the introductions, etc. Everyone knew I was doing it, but no one said anything about it until after the fact. After the fact, when the information was no longer useful to us.

I know the intentions are well-meaning, and I do appreciate the concern, but really, I won’t let anyone judge me or tell me how wrong my decision was after the fact.

Anyway, Roxy’s so sweet and beautiful, but Peppa and Roxy did not get along. Peppa was overwhelmed and terrified of the much larger and very energetic Roxy. I don’t think it was the size difference; Peppa has played with much larger dogs. But Peppa never plays with overexcited or super hyper dogs. She doesn’t like that and she usually runs behind us. It’s happened before, but I’ve never seen her hide her tail between her legs and run away this way.

Roxy, on the other hand, did not want to be crated, or in the kitchen, or in any way confined. She screamed and barked all night. When I came to her, she’d spin, super happy, with excitement in her eyes and her perpetual smile on her face. But the only way she’d stop barking was by me laying down on the kitchen floor next to her. I kind of feel like she just wanted to roam free and not be left alone. But she’s a pup, and even #peppathepom is confined to her playpen during the day when we are out.

Roxy wasn’t having it; she had a really loud, piercing bark. So I had to let her out of the kitchen or stay in there with her. I tried sleeping on the sofa and had her next to me for a while, cuddling, but I couldn’t fall asleep as I had to make sure she stayed with me. She felt really nice and fluffy, and she smelled great. She’s much meatier and sturdier than Peppa, and she’s really fun to snuggle up with. What I had to do to eventually get some sleep was crate her, put the crate next to me on the floor, lie down on the sofa, and make sure she could see me. I put my hand inside the little gate so she could touch and lick it. Then she started to rest a bit.

The entire evening from the moment we got home until the next day felt like a chaotic nightmare filled with sleep deprivation, stress, loud barking, and a poor terrified and confused Peppa. Roxy just wanted to play and be free to roam; she is the sweetest dog. But at some point, she’s going to have to be alone, and since Peppa was terrified, we couldn’t count on her to be Roxy’s company. So now we face the possibility of a dog barking all night and day while she’s not with us.

I realized that I don’t have the skill set, patience, or understanding to make this work. So I did the only thing I could to ensure Roxy had a safe and happy home, even if it wasn’t with us. With a broken heart and tears on my face, I returned Roxy to the rescue organization the next day. I was fortunate to secure a ride out to Jersey and dropped her off at a loving foster home. When I took her there, I sat on the floor with her and she hid under my arms. I sobbed and pet her as the foster mom tried to coax her over. Eventually, I realized it was time to go, so the foster mom took Roxy and started to pet her. I signed some paperwork and then had to walk away from this beautiful doggy. I slumped over to the car and began to sob like a child.

I know that I did what I thought was right at that moment, but I keep wondering about all the things I could have done differently. I wonder if I could have been more patient, introduced them differently, waited a couple of days, I don’t know. What if? What if? What if? All I know is that the stress and chaos of that night and morning were severely disrupting the fragile peace in my home, and everyone from my son to Peppa was feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I did the right thing for all of us, including Roxy and Peppa. Still, it hurt me deeply, and despite the madness of the last few days, I love and will always miss Roxy. I know that Mercy Puppy Rescue will find her a good home, and they promised to keep me updated.

The one comfort I received was a few video clips of Roxy playing around and having fun at the foster home. She looked sad and scared when I left, but she bounced back and forgot about me relatively quickly. I suppose it’s better that way. I know you won’t believe me, but I love you, Roxy.