Someone posted this on facebook as a question. I thought it was interesting and worth asking on this forum as well. Which way do you prefer?
Personally, I like to have the lights on. I’m a visual person when it comes to making love and having sex. I like to look into my lover’s eyes. I like to see the expressions they make as our bodies are one. I like to look at her body and examine the curves and all the secrets her body keeps. I love to hear the moans and the sounds of pleasure, but I also love to see that pleasure in her eyes. For me, looking into the eyes elevates the pleasure so much. There is something to be said for that connection.
I understand that some people are timid or self conscious and prefer the lights off. I get that and I can relate. However, it is my belief that if in that most intimate of moments, you cannot fully trust your partner to love you as you are, if you cannot get past that discomfort of hiding in the dark, then in my opinion, that partner needs to work harder on earning your trust.
I know there are exceptions, but I’ve been with really, really timid women. And despite their shyness and lack of comfort with themselves, I managed to make them so comfortable with me that they were able to work pass that shyness. Granted, they always maintained a level of timid behavior, but when a man is kissing, suckling and savoring your entire body after weeks and months of telling you how beautiful you are, it’s hard to feel unloved, unworthy, fat, ugly, inadequate or whatever adjective best describes your level of discomfort.
Again, I’m not attacking the person who wants the light off, nor their partner. Hell, some people prefer the dark, I understand that some people just ain’t with that light on stuff. But as lovers, it’s on us to help our partner to become comfortable and completely trusting of us. That may not be the cause of the shyness or their desire for the dark, but you better damn try your best and make sure it ain’t.