The Office type show, Space Force made me think about what would one do if their partner was sent to prison for 20 years! General Naird’s wife is locked up for some crimes she committed and this dude still wants to be loyal to her and wait for her to come out. All this despite her sending him divorce papers and confessing that she is in a committed prison relationship with one of the guards. He still loves her and wants to be with her. Oh, also he was the prosecution’s star witness in getting her locked up. He simply cannot lie or be dishonest, even under those circumstances.
I know that this show is silly and this is a gross exaggeration of reality. However, I’ve recently seen a few female friends boasting about their man being locked up and how they are holding it down for their man while he’s away. That got me to thinking, would you wait 20 plus years for your partner to come out of prison? Would you move on and start a new relationship? Would you have sex with other people?
20 years is a lifetime, my son is 22 years old, and that has been a whole lifetime. A lot of things can happen in twenty years. You could change careers, get sick, have several children, watch those children completely finish their education, and so much more. Are you really willing to put your entire life on hold to wait on someone who may or may not even be the same person once they return?
I’ve often heard it said, “When you go to prison, your loved ones go to prison with you.” Of course that doesn’t mean they are physically incarcerated with you, but they are stuck waiting, worrying, visiting, and in limbo of sorts always looking forward to the day you return back to the world.
I don’t know what I’d do in this situation. I guess it really depends on the circumstances. I’d never turn my back on my wife or abandon her. But if she did something really selfish, criminal and got herself locked up over it, I’m not sure how I would cope with that. I know I love her, and I know I’ll support her, that much I know. I can promise to take care of her books and keep her as well off as I could given the circumstances. I can say that with pretty much 100% certainty.
Would I expect her to sit around waiting for me? Of course I would. As the person who is locked up, your life is now on hold. Everything stops for you, but the world outside those bars keeps moving. In your mind and heart you’ll want to come back to the woman you love. The longer you are in there, the more you will think. You will yearn for her, you will romanticize everything, and become desperate to come home to your lady. If she leaves you, it will drive you insane. Your every waking moment will be obsessing over what she is doing, who she is dating, who is entering your woman. You might lose your shit!
Why do I think these things? Because I was once a jealous man. I was possessive and exhibited all those traits. A horrible place like prison will only cause those long ago exorcised demons to make another appearance. I’ve never been to prison, but I have been away for long periods of time while in the military, and I know what its like to want to hold someone and be with them. I can imagine a 20 year stretch would feel 1000s of times worse than a year away during military training. Especially if she leaves you.
So therein lies the dilemma, you’d surely want them to wait for you, but are you able to wait for them? That’s the selfish aspect of the human nature we all have. So what would you do faced with this situation?
Just a life long New Yorker sharing the journey through my lens. Please take note of a post’s date. The views I express here are subject to change and evolving as I grow and learn.