I have a friend, whose aunt had an affair with a married man, for thirty years.\u00a0 One day, he died, and she didn\u2019t even know; he just stopped calling.\u00a0 She was devastated and knew that something had to be dreadfully wrong.\u00a0 She frantically checked hospitals and ultimately the obituaries.\u00a0 And there it was.\u00a0 Her lover had died and because their relationship had always been kept a secret from the world, no one had ever even thought to notify her.<\/p>\n
It was almost a week before she had uncovered the news about this death, and the funeral had already taken place.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t even have the chance to say goodbye or to get closure \u2013 a fitting ending to a relationship, which at its best was still painful, by the very nature, that it never belonged to her in the first place.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t even find solace by confiding in others, because any hope for compassion, would come back to her in the form of judgment \u2013 and that would only add to the pain.\u00a0 So, she suffered alone.<\/p>\n
This woman was in a terrible emotional place and a relationship such as this one is a terrible place for anyone to be.\u00a0 Throughout the years, I have known several women who have somehow found themselves in a relationship with a married man.\u00a0 Women, with so much to offer would settle for part time love; scraps that are left over from the dinner table.\u00a0 But what has always surprised me the most is that I myself have been there as well.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not exactly sure how I made my way into such a relationship, or how anyone does for that matter.\u00a0 I suspect it had something to do with my own emotional state at the time when the relationship began.\u00a0 An unhealthy emotional state, only attracts unhealthy relationships \u2013 is what I have come to learn.\u00a0 Perhaps self-esteem also added to it all, an undeserving feeling and a lack of self-worth could have been contributing factors.\u00a0 Or maybe it was just selfishness and ego, a complete and total disregard for the boundaries that warn us against taking what isn\u2019t rightfully ours.\u00a0 Nevertheless, the pain which I endured was punishment enough, and the lesson that I learned, was one that would not be forgotten.<\/p>\n
The story of my affair is old as the day is long and as clich\u00e9 as that statement itself.\u00a0 A typical office romance, complete with all its bells and whistles, including hotel room lunches right down to the delusional thought that no one in the office was aware of what was going on.\u00a0 The affair carried on for years and the love was real as was optimism that the relationship will one day become legitimate.\u00a0 But true to the story of an affair itself, was the ending with all its banality \u2013 the very ending which left me crying on the kitchen floor.<\/p>\n
(This post was originally shared on Painting the Canvas<\/a> by Tamara Lashchyk and was reprinted with permission.)<\/p>\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"