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So I’ve been due for a haircut for weeks now, but I’ve been putting it off. I finally got around to it, and this is where things went a little cray!
So I tell my barber to give me a fade, as always, and he asks me if I want a line? I assumed he was talking about the usual line on the sideburns, or back of the head, so I nodded yes.
After giving me a phenomenal fade, my man took his zero clippers and went in on the top part of the blend. By the time I realized what was happening, it was already too late. My man gave me the kind of line I used to get back in Junior High School.
He noticed the look of sheer terror and shock on my face. I said I didn’t understand what he meant when he said line! He seemed worried, but attempted over and over to convince me that it looked good. I told him that I liked it, but there was no way that I could go to work, 38 years old, with a line through my head. He kept saying ” you look cool man,” I agreed, I looked cool as crap, but I cannot present myself at a place of business like that. I work with advocates, government officials, vendors, sponsors, etc. I can’t go to work looking like The Situation or something. Dude gave me a teenager haircut!
He asked me what I planned to do? I said I was going to meet my friend, have a nice dinner, and then cut it all off bald. I can pull off a baldy at work, but I can’t roll up in there with a damn line in my head. Much to the chagrine of the people waiting, and my scheduled dinner, he began to try and correct it.
He asked me one last time, are you sure you can’t keep it? It looks great! I replied that I cannot go to meetings with ombudsmen, advocates, and other vendors looking like a character out of NSync. He smiled and said you look very upset, I’m sorry man, let’s fix this. I apologized to the fellas who were waiting, I felt bad that they’d have to wait a bit longer, but I couldn’t keep that line on my head. I’m 38 years old, and though some may disagree, I’m not going through that type of a midlife crisis.
So he went super high and tight on the fade, and tried to fix it. The haircut is not quite what I wanted, but it was a fairly decent recovery from the line he drew on my head.
The lesson of the day? Whenever a barber asks you “line?” Make sure that you are both clear on what the expectation is.
Growing Up Bronx