It’s been my experience that many of the women I’ve dated don’t particularly enjoy the feeling of facial hair scrubbing and exfoliating their faces. Unlike some who can sport a full, well-groomed beard, I seem to grow what feels like spiky razor wire on my face. My wife, in particular, dislikes it, given her sensitive skin. So, I’ve been trying harder to keep my face clean-shaven. Somewhere along the way, I got a bit lazy about it. The funny thing is, it wasn’t always like this.
I can still vividly recall my time with an ex-girlfriend. Every time I knew I’d be seeing her, I’d meticulously shave my face, trim my eyebrows, even pluck them, trim the nose hairs, shave the chest and stomach hair, and ensure that more intimate areas were well-groomed. I left no stone unturned in my effort to present my best self for her. I went above and beyond to make sure she was always impressed with me.
But there was one day when she surprised me with an unplanned visit. I didn’t have time for my usual grooming routine. When she saw me, she remarked, “Wow, you actually have hair on you. You go out of your way for me, don’t you?” I was completely head over heels for her. Ironically, she ended up breaking my heart worse than anyone had before. She took me to my lowest point.
Fast forward to the present, and I’ve been putting in more effort to stay on top of my facial grooming, though I still slip up sometimes, so my wife will be more comfortable with kissing. If I don’t shave, it can be uncomfortable for her, so she tends to avoid kissing when my facial hair gets too prickly. I understand that, so I’m doing my best to be more consistent.
For me, kissing and making out are important ways to connect with my partner. When that intimacy is missing, it leads to a feeling of disconnection and distance.
Reflecting on my past, I’ve realized I invested a lot of effort into a relationship with someone who ultimately did not value it. So, it makes sense to put even more effort into the relationship with the woman I married, the one I share my life with every day.
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