Am I scared to get a blue belt?

Sometimes I think I’m actually scared to get a blue belt in Brazilian Jiujitsu. I know it’s not true, and there are many factors to take into consideration, but I kind of feel that by default I’m then expected to beat all the white belts. That’s just not going to happen at this point in my life. I’m older, injured, and definitely not the person I was in my 20s. Some of those young guys are beasts y’all!

People say it doesn’t, but I think physicality factors in without a doubt. I’ve definitely rolled with a few blue/purple belts both male/female who were smaller/thinner than I am, and some of them couldn’t do anything with me. I simply smashed them and neutralize everything with power. This isn’t always the case, but it has been enough to convince me that size and power matters. Despite what we are told.

I tapped a blue belt once and never saw him at the school again. I don’t know if that was the reason, but he was upset about being caught. I don’t do that anymore. After that, I never try to submit them because I don’t think it’s cool to do that. I am not a bully and never want to be perceived as such, but I don’t let them sub me if they can’t actually get it. I do think that at a certain point the skillset gets good enough to neutralize most size and power advantages, but I’m not sure at what point that happens.

The same has happened to me as a striped white belt, and it will continue happen to me as I advance I’m sure. I’ve been tapped by brand new people simply based on raw power and size. Remember the dude who cranked my back? I don’t see them not submitting me out of kindness.

I get it’s how it is and I don’t care too much about getting tapped now as a white belt, but honestly I’m a bit scared of it happening when I’m a higher belt. Like I said, I tapped a blue once and never saw him again. That’s why I don’t even try to do that anymore.

In any case, I was wondering if that’s why I always stop training when I’m about to get a blue belt. Only to start over years later. Injuries have been the main reason, but once I stop, I tend to stay stopped.

I know that ego isn’t supposed to factor in, and it’s all about learning, but let’s be real, what higher belt wants to get tapped by a lower belt? Have you guys felt the same way?