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Love and Dating

Don’t underestimate the importance of sex

As far back as I can remember in my life, I’ve always wanted sex. Not just sex, but to make love. Growing up I was the helpless romantic type and I believe that I still am. However, life has corrupted me pretty badly. A life of disappointment, heartbreak, and hardcore pornography have to a degree ruined the innocence that I once possessed. But at the core, at the true core, I’m still very much a helpless romantic.

I remember at night I used to go to sleep listening to soft, romantic music. This was a part of my daily sleeping ritual. As I laid in bed with my soft oldies cassette softly playing, I’d fantasize about one day making love to a woman I loved and spending every night with her. It was a beautiful fantasy, but alas, that’s all it was, a fantasy.

As a grown man, married twice and having been in several long term relationships, I can attest that it’s not always like that. Some women love to have sex frequently and some don’t seem to care for it at all. I know that sex is not the only aspect of a relationship, but it is a mighty important one, at least to me.

My thought process is quite simple. Look, I’m going to either die or get old at some point. One day, I won’t have as much desire for sex and possibly my penis won’t work the same anymore. While it is still working, I want to use it as much as possible. While I have the desire, I want to enjoy it for as long as I can. Remember, I’ve been fantasizing about this since I was a child. Imagine the disappointment one feels when they marry or move in with someone and then they don’t care for sex? That’s bad business my friends.

If their partner is lucky, this person will only engage in casual sex just hooking up with someone to scratch that carnal need which they both have. If the partner is unlucky, they’ll head down that same path, but emotions will get involved. Once that happens, your relationship is definitely over. That’s not to say that cheating is okay if not feelings are involved. I’m saying that if its only a physical thing, they can probably hide that and continue living in the same sexless situation. But if they fall in love, then they will start to resent every moment they are with you and not with the one they truly love. Your relationship will become a barrier to their happiness, and how long do you think that will last?

I know that’s a fucked up picture I paint above, but it’s very common. I’ve seen many friends go through it, it’s a common song, television and film theme. To be completely transparent, it is something I myself have experienced in my life. I know exactly what I’m talking about because I have lived it, right down to the resentment. It’s really, really fucking hard to be with someone while your heart yearns for another. It’s really fucking hard to hide that and one day you will just snap, pack your shit and leave.

All this is avoidable my friends. Make sure that you take care of your partner, make sure that they take care of you. Talk about things, share your needs and desires. You can try and find a happy medium. Listen, the best thing you can do is communicate. If you do that and they don’t work with you to address any issues, well, then leave them. If you can’t or won’t leave for whatever reason, then accept that their will be consequences to the neglect and simply say, “Fuck it, whatever happens, happens.” You tried your best, they didn’t get it, that’s on them, not you.

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