Years ago when my son was born, one of the girls I used to train with at the gym asked me, “Is that really your son? How do you know that she didn’t cheat on you and have a kid with someone else? Now you get to be responsible for him? Are you that stupid, Angel? You are being played!”
To give you some context, my son was born in the Dominican Republic during a brief one year or so period of separation that my ex wife and I had. I visited her often as we tried to work things out and during one of those trips she became pregnant with my boy.
I kind of suspected that this friend liked me in a romantic way, but I was trying to be a good guy and do the right things here. So I never hooked up with her. Yes, I know its shocking that I’d pass up some sexual satisfaction back then.
In any case, I took great offense to that statement. First of all, though he was still just a baby, my son always looked like me. The family joke was, “Even if you tried to deny him, there’s no way you could, he is your clone!” We could all see it, so the possibility of him not being my son never fit in my head.
The second reason I got offended is because she implied that my son’s mom was a cheater and would do me dirty like that. If you know my son’s mom you know that she is one of the most honest, loyal and caring people you could ever meet.
I have not always been the best to her and though no one is perfect, one thing I knew is that she wasn’t out there messing around with random people. That would never be her and though we were apart, I trusted her completely!
I have the potential to be a dirt bag in relationships, especially if I’m not happy about something. It becomes very easy for me to justify bad behavior. “I can die tomorrow, you only live once, this is their fault.” So yeah, I have done some pretty crappy stuff in my day, but my son’s mom is as close to purity as a human can come. So I could not allow this and I had to fiercely defend her on that one.
So I took a very hard line stance and told this “friend” that this was my son and I didn’t want to hear any more talk about this from her. She was taken aback by my response and tone. Like I said, I was offended and though I can be a bit oversensitive, I don’t generally offend too easy. Certainly not to the point where I’d bring it up and address it. At least not during that period of my life. Back then I was a notorious “keep it bottled up inside” kind of guy. I’m a bit better at expressing myself now.
We were never super close, but after that moment in the gym the friendship became even more distant. She was part of a group of people I used to hang out with all the time after training. At one point, it just stopped and we all distanced out. I’m not sure if she had anything to do with that. I can’t even remember her name and I don’t know what ever became of her or the group. They just kind of disappeared from my life.
I guess the point of it all is don’t mess with my family.
Just a life long New Yorker sharing the journey through my lens. Please take note of a post’s date. The views I express here are subject to change and evolving as I grow and learn.