Recently, I was asked for tips on how to have a conversation with someone. My response was that conversing with someone can be really easy or it can be extremely difficult. It really depends on so many factors, many which may be out of your control. I’d say that this is situational and it’s impossible to cover every possible scenario.
Question, have you ever met someone and you just instantly click with that person? You just feel that this is a person that you have known all of your life and you simply don’t miss a beat? I’ve had that happen with men and women just the same. Most recently it happened with the director of an indie film I was featured in, “Theatre of Horror.” It was with my boy Will, whom I have never, ever met in my life. The day we met, we were talking and kicking it as if we had known each other our whole lives. Kindred spirits so to speak.
This has also happened to me with women, and when it does, the connection is instant and the end result is explosive! The last one I can remember, we ended up in each others arms as if we were life long lovers after only a few hours walking around the city. Then we spent that entire night making intense, passionate love. We spent the few weeks she was in NYC together, and then we went on with our lives. It was magic, we lived it, enjoyed it, and then carried on.
My thoughts on that type of occurrence run a bit deeper than just chance and have more to do with the concept of being soul mates, past lives, and all of that spiritual mumbo jumbo as opposed to actual conversational skill though. Sometimes you just click with people.
On the other hand, sometimes you can’t seem to get a conversation going with someone. There are people who you can’t help but shut down around and find no common ground with. I mean, I can small talk with the best of them, but the older I get, the less I care to waste energy on situations like that. If the conversation feels forced, and doesn’t flow, maybe it’s not worth pursuing. Or, maybe you should just cut to the chase. I mean, there are times that you just want to fuck each other and don’t really care to be friends or know each other. That’s animal in nature and can happen too.
If your inability to converse is fear of rejection, I point you to my logic that “trying and failing is better than not trying at all.” This topic is very involved and perhaps I’ll do another podcasts on it someday. But for the purposes of this piece, understand that conversation is a two way street. You may be willing, but if the other ain’t, then it’s just not gonna happen. No matter how skilled you are in the art of speaking.